Coming Together

Last week I finally started getting everything organized and feel much better about it all. I am a list kind of person. You know the type. If I go to the grocery store without my list, I forget all the stuff I need and buy a whole bunch of extra crap. Well, I am the same way about a lot of things. So I listed everything that I have to accomplish for my D.Min. program this semester (by due dates) and I listed everything that I have to accomplish for my Commissioning (also by due dates). So now I feel much better, not as out of control. I have actually submitted some of my homework assignments already. See I do work better when I have a list.

Of course, when you make lists people always try to mess them up but I'm not that easy to distract. I will have to admit that all of this ministry stuff that we have begun at the church is really interfering with my schedule (just joking--ha, ha).

Tomorrow I have my friends mom's funeral to conduct at 10 a.m. Seems kind of early but it works for them (and for me). She died of Alzheimer's just like the funeral for the church member that I conducted last month. I did the Alzheimer's walk on Thursday and met the coolest man. He is 72 and his wife was diagnosed last year with Alzheimer's. It has progressed very, very quick and she cannot even dress herself anymore. But listen to this, he was a referee with the National Football League. And was in awesome shape. I was a little jealous. He was so sweet and spent the entire time we ate together talking about his wife. After we were done, he said, "Thank you so much for letting me talk to you about my wife. It felt great to get it off my chest." What a sweety!! I love the opportunities that this calling gives to me to connect with people.

Being a pastor can be the most frustrating, hair-pulling job in the ENTIRE world and at the same time it is the most fulfilling, rewarding and soul-satisfying call that we can ever answer. I know, it happens to me on a daily basis. Trust me-- I had a Finance Committee meeting today.

Overwhelmed

Do you remember the first day of Seminary? What about the 3rd week? Combine those feelings and that is where I am today. I am exhausted and not sure that I can make it through this whole D.Min. Program. I always feel this way when they tell me all that I have to accomplish and it looks SO OVERWHELMING.

So I'm scattered today. My thoughts about the Project -- using small groups to increase a congregations spirituality. The hard part is coming up with quantitative measurements for spirituality. And an added stress, all of my Commissioning requirements due by Dec. 15. Plus, what happens if I get my project approved and then I move?

To much to handle today. To much to think about. Miss my baby and my other babies. I'm thinking that I will totally veg out tonight. Watch mindless television. Read a trashy romance novel. Pack. Call me Scarlett O'Hara, "I'll think about it tomorrow."

Lord, I know that you will not give me anything that I can't handle and that you will give the skills and strength to accomplish YOUR goals. Amen.

DISC

One of the D.Min. exercises today was a DISC Profile test. It showed that I am a High "D": creative, investigator, developer. It says that I tend to be a strong-willed individualist, continually seeking new horizons. As self-reliant, independent thinkers, D's prefer to find their own solutions. Often by-pass conventions and find innovative solutions.


That doesn't sound that bad does it? It also means that I have high expectations of others and can be critical when my standards are not met. Ouch.... it also means that I don't SEEM to show empathy. So this means that my decision not to get my D.Min. in pastoral counseling was the right one. I'm leaning towards Pastoral Leadership.

Spending all of this time alone has given me a lot of time to think and pray. So it has been a mini-retreat in some ways. Not a bad thing but I miss my daughter and my dogs. (And my pillow, sob sob)

First Day of School

We had the biggest class that I have every sat in on!! Really, we did. Oh well, we had two people in class. I am so very, very glad that they didn't cancel it. It would have been so disheartening.

I am in class with the pastor that ran my local licensing school. How ironic is that?? It was a great class. It dealt with leadership and leadership issues, which was not a stretch to guess considering the titles that we were required to read for class.

And just in case in are wondering, this is school is accredited with the ATS.

I want to go out to dinner but I have seen two accidents in the parking lot and the police were here earlier (a truck was broken into). I'm sure that if I wait until later the bumper to bumper traffic will ease up. So I might wait. One of the accidents happened in the parking space that I parked in last night. I noticed that it was hard to back out of and apparently, it was really, really hard for that huge ass Hummer to get out of. I feel sorry for the mini-van that got flattened.

This morning I worked out on the treadmill, bicycle and then swam some laps in the pool. I would like to do all of that again but I won't go down and swim when there are people who can see me. I was very shy when I was skinny (which was just a 8 years ago) and now I'm even more shy about being seen in a swimming suit. I quit smoking because I won't to be around to see my daughter grow up. I had tried for years but somehow never found the strength until I became a Christian. Coincidence?? I think not.

This week might be more important than I first thought, another coincidence. Nope, God loves me. My class-mate is a member of the conference Board of Ministry. Hopefully, this is a good sign.

Wish Me Luck

Okay, I'm packed and showered and almost ready to leave for the church. I hope that my anticipation doesn't make tomorrow a real downer. It would be great to have great professors, interesting topics and lively classmates. I'm the eternal optimist who loves being surrounded by people with a great sense of humor.

You don't even want to know how miserable Licensing School was---they made serving the Lord feel like it was penance for sins or something. Laughing was severely frowned upon.

I missed the puppies last night. Of course, it was nice sleeping the night through without any puppy adventures. Two, pile up on the bed with me (I'll need a King Size bed if Luke gets any larger.) The other one sleeps under the bed and guards me against any wandering cat that tries to invade our territory. I was invaded last night--woke up with a kitty staring me in the face.

In case you are dying to know, our High School won their first football game of the season.

Yippeee---road trip!!!!!!!

Friday Five

1. Are you a hoarder or a minimalist?
I am a hoarder that goes through periodic sweeps that totally cleans things out. Unfortunately, they tend to collect right back. I bought a shredder which is making throwing papers out much easier but, darn it, you really don't know when you might need it.

Plus, I really have a lot of different activities in my life. I need the camping equipment and chainsaw for Emergency Mission trips; the books for well, everything; O crap, I can't make excuses - I have too much.

2. Name one important object ( could be an heirloom) that you will never part with.
A rocking chair that is 61 years old. It has been passed down from mother to daughter for three generations now. Its "birthday" is October 27th. Of course, I would probably try to grab my computer if the house was on fire (I have scanned all of the family photo's into it). Plus, it has my sermons, my school stuff (backed-up off site) but, still, it's MY COMPUTER.

3. What is the oldest item in your closet? Does it still fit???
I have a dress that is 10 years old. And no, it doesn't still fit but I'm really working on it. And before you say, "Get rid of it", Cheesehead is living proof that I can get that small again. (((So there)))

4.Yard sales- love 'em or hate 'em ?
I kind of like them but I don't believe in pricing every single little item. Too much work. I like sections or tables - Everything for $1. But when you walk away with money and a cleaner (or emptier) house. It's a great feeling.

5. Name a recycling habit you really want to get into.
Paper - I would like to recycle paper. In this part of the country, you don't recycle paper -- you burn it. And the plastic water bottles..... yeah.... the plastic water bottles. And, aluminum cans, those too.

And for a bonus- well anything you want to add....
In my family, recycling means giving your old stuff to a member of a younger generation. As recently happened with all of my daughter's furniture. It is anathema to throw away or sell furniture. Cousin Billy Bob's niece twice removed is getting married and has to furnish her house. I can honestly say that I have never bought a piece of silverware in my life. Of course, none really match (except for the fancy set I got for my wedding)

One a different subject: In honor of the October Book of the Month, I bought all the food from local vegetable stands and my daughter and I cooked and baked today after school. It was a total vegetarian meal. She wasn't to keen on the squash.

I finally received an email from the Dean of the D.Min. Program. We start at 8 a.m. Kind of weird, that none of the staff could answer that question, Isn't it??

My Friend the Stallion

This is RED. He comes from wherever he may be in the field, at a gallop, when he sees me walking down to this fence. Why? Because I bring him treats. He especially likes grapes and banana's. I will peel the banana and after he is done, I throw the peel out into his pasture. He will hunt it down and eat the peel, too. Very strange.

I am trying to get all of the arrangements made to leave for Houston after church on Sunday. One of the burning questions in my mind, What time do the classes start? I have emailed (on Monday) no answer. I finally called today. "Ummm, I'm not sure maybe 8 or 8:30." You can imagine my frustration level is on the rise.

I did go to the football game. It was a very long drive but it was pretty. I was almost in Oklahoma before it was over though. We lost. All three games. During the 8th grade game, I saw some of the worst refereeing that I have ever seen. The other team was running out the clock so the Quarterback took the snap and kneeled. The ref put the ball back on the original line of scrimmage for the next down. What the *&%$??? This is just the tip of the iceberg. We lost that game 8 to 0. The other two weren't even close. We have a terrible football program and we just hired another coach. What a waste of money!! Yet I'm having to shell out money for music lessons that the school can't pay for. Don't get me wrong. I'm actually a football fan. I even went to Atlanta in 1994 to watch the Cowboys win the Superbowl. This just seems wrong for this small school.

The cheerleaders were awesome, however. And totally kicked the other team's cheerleaders butts. :-) They did some impressive stunts. Thank God no one fell.

I have to go preview my "Walk to Emmaus" talk tomorrow about one hour from here. Yes, that on top of the two sermons, two bulletins and ALL the other arrangements. Guess what it is on? Prevenient Grace - and my spell checker doesn't even catch the spelling anymore.

I am reading Barbara Kingsolver's book and I tried buying locally yesterday. I found a little stand on my way to Oklahoma yesterday. And I got a whole bunch of stuff. So I'm eating fresh stuff today and figuring out what to make for supper tonight. Because a miracle has occurred - we don't have one single thing to do tonight. Ryss and I are both free. So we are going to eat organically, healthy and locally. Yeah! In honor of this occasion I am going to harvest my one bell pepper. The only one I have managed to grow this year.

Ah the Joy!!

Last night I received a call from the head of my SPRC. She wanted to tell me what a wonderful job I had done with the funeral sermon. She said, "You captured the essence of Lillian and it meant alot to those of us who loved her." She, also, said, "I loved seeing you wear the clerical collar." (More Cows: It might not have helped with the irritation of not knowing where the breaker was located but it would have helped transcend all of the dirty looks for not knowing here the breaker was located at. I'm so excited - you will be the first one to add me to your feed. I feel so special. --- And Sue: I wore it more to remind my people of my role this time). I plan on buying some of the ladies shirts so that I don't have to tuck the shirt in. My belly is to big to tuck shirts in. I saw one in a magazine that is a tunic shirt - looks real comfy.


I went to bed last night and had sweet, sweet dreams. And woke up to a bad, bad smell. Apparently a skunk visited very close to the parsonage last night. I had to keep the dogs in because they were frantic to find it and become one with the smell (roll in it).


At this time, one week from now, I will be getting up and dressed in Houston, getting ready for my first day of school. I am so excited. I hope that I'm just as excited after the first day. Most of the books that I had to read in preparation for this course were leadership books with a couple of spiritual formation books thrown in for good measure. I have been using some of the techniques already and maybe that's why things are looking up at the church. (I had hoped to find a pulpit replacement so that I could leave early and get a good nights sleep but no luck. Everyone is busy.)


One of the things that I read in one book said that you needed to do everything by consensus. That might be a little further down the road for us. Do any of you use that as a leadership method? It seems like it would be hard.


This afternoon I meet with one of the 4-H Committee's (the one that I tried to stay off of). We are picking out and categorizing the gifts for this year's banquet. Absolutely hated the way that it was run last year so this year I made a spread sheet. It makes it much easier than thumbing through 40 sheets over and over and over again. I know a secret....... Ryss won a big award that she had to interview for. It really is hard keeping it from her. It's like Christmas all over again. She will be tickled pink - she has some kind of weird love for plaques. Doesn't care about trophies, or ribbons but loves plaques.



Good news - School superintendent just called me about the school board passing the resolution to allow 4-H events to be considered extracurricular school activities. It is a state law in Texas but still the resolution has to be passed every year. That just saved a whole bunch of kids unexcused absences this year. What is even more amazing - He called me at 7:59 a.m. He returned his own calls and called me before the start of a business day. Holy *&%^ batman. I'm not used to that kind of efficiency from the school.

UPDATE: The stretches have made a huge difference in my foot problems (plantar fasciitis). My right foot is getting a whole bunch better. My left still has some strides to go :) The high heels I wore yesterday almost killed me. One of the experts said that going barefoot is worse than wearing the cute little sandals. I don't know if I can break the habit of kicking off my shoes when I enter the house. I was raised not to wear shoes in the house (and sometimes not even outside). Whenever you enter my home, you are greeted with a pile of shoes by the front door. I am going to have to buy a new pair of athletic shoes. The side ripped out. Do you remember when shoes would last more than a few months?

Cheerleader

Ryss wore her cheer leading uniform to school for the first time. She looked so cute but I believe that the skirt is way too short. She has decided she hates it because it makes her shoulder's look too broad. She is so perfect and still sees flaws. I have really tried to make her okay with her physical appearance but cultural pressures are almost too much to combat.

I mustered up enough energy for bible study last night. In fact, I rode my bike to church. Burned calories and not gasoline. Good for me. However, yesterday really made my feet sore. Chasing miniature tornado's puts alot of stress on the body. But at least we have not been hit with the Hurricane currently dropping huge amounts of rain on the state.

I am going to try and work on the sermon today. I have football tonight (unless it gets rained out). I suppose it would be bad of me to pray for rain - starting around 5 p.m.

I haven't heard for the school yet. Maybe they are just letting me sit or maybe they just felt that my email didn't rate a reply. Maybe they are regretting letting me in. I'm sending the email.... but really!!

Kids, Chocolate and Tears

First, the kids - it went very well today. I don't think we were counting on all of the kids being 2 year olds. But... they were and it took about an hour for us to re-adjust and re-organize. After that we had it down or at least we survived. The "Head Bane" was asked to come and provide a music time. She just sat down on a chair, sang two obscure songs and then left after several snide comments. I refuse to put in black and white the thought that ran through my head. We are buying a gate to keep the children from escaping next month but other than that we did okay. Lily was on her very best behavior for her frisbee exhibition and delighted the children.

To Ellbee: I recently went on a tour of the local Chocolate Store with the 4-H. And the lady who ran the place said that chocolate does not ever go bad. It might get white looking on the outside but that the chocolate will be good. I thought that was kind of cool.

Now for the Tears......... The school is only willing to advance me $300 upon my arrival in Houston. That won't even cover my hotel bill. I will be sleeping in my car and it really upsets me. None of the other schools that I have attended have ever made us wait until after school started for our loan money. They would make us wait for scholarship and grant money but not loan money. $300 is almost a slap in the face considering how much I am paying for the privilege of going there. I am mad, very, very mad.

Now I have to get ready for tonight's Bible Study. It is going to be hard to get into the right frame of mind.

Visits

This is the amazing pear tree that I was telling you about. Too bad you can't see all of the butterflies fluttering around it. They really like the pears.

I went and visited at the nursing home in a neighboring county today. It was especially poignant because I was visiting my uncle. My mom's brother. He served twenty years in the Marine Corp, two tours of Vietnam and it really was painful seeing him laying in that bed. My soul is hurting right now. He is a remarkably luck man. He served in the war and never got hurt. Came home and was hit by a drunk driver in Hawaii. They were going to amputate his leg but they were having an orthopedic surgeon convention and they came together and saved it. He's a fighter. He hopes to go home on the 21st. I pray that comes true for him.

I called the band director today because my child came home crying last night. This girl plays four instruments, three extremely well (violin, oboe, piano). He has her playing the bass drum during marching season. He moved her ahead of her class last year and yesterday said it was a mistake since she didn't know the clap rhythms. I called him about her oboe lesson but asked him about what happened. He apologized for getting "caught up in the moment and not talking to her privately." He said it appeared, "that she listened to the others and then memorized the rhythm." Doesn't surprise me, she learned to play the violin before she could even read very well. I said, "Well, if you need to replace her with someone else for the good of the band, I understand." And, it wouldn't really matter to me because she is so busy anyway that she does need to cut back. But this was a little tongue in cheek because I know how desperate he is for musically talented kids in the band. I'm not a mom that interferes in her school life very much. I'm involved but if she gets in trouble with a teacher, I almost always back the teacher up but she was crying. And this wasn't the instrument that she signed up for, he wanted her there. Plus, I know that embarrassing her in front of her peers will not get the results that he wants.

Her new dresser was delivered today. Almost without mishaps but they ran it into the only picture that we have ever taken together at a professional photography studio. I tried to catch it and got my finger sliced open from the glass. It damaged the portrait but I scanned it into the computer so it is salvageable. The frame was very, very inexpensive so that doesn't matter. In fact, I have another one in the kitchen cabinet just waiting for the next school picture. Finger bled forever and went through two paper towels that were wrapped around it.

Finished shampooing the carpet. Getting up all the stains from the old leaky a/c unit. Have a bad headache though (stress I think). I sure don't want to go to the band booster meeting tonight and then help them at the tail-gate party fundraiser tomorrow night. I'm being bitchy but it is raising money for the HS students to go to Disneyland. Bitchy, bitchy, bitchy. Well, I have to run to the school and take Ryss' oboe. This was a last minute visit by the woodwinds instructor.

Day's End

This is a view from the top of Ryss's corn snake "Dot". She is leaving for a new home after over five years. She is over four feet long and has been one of the easiest pets we have ever owned and is going to a good home. Ryss just doesn't have the time to properly care for her any longer.

I worked out for 1 1/2 hours today. Did my regular Pilates workout and then my friend came over and we worked out even longer. I feel pretty righteous - not any lighter but righteous. But today I was watching CNN and saw this news story about a guy whose lungs were damaged by inhaling the fumes from his microwave popcorn. Granted he ate popcorn several times a day but this was very strange but that isn't the interesting part - immediately after hearing the story I had the worst craving for popcorn and had to make some. Didn't inhale the steam from my fat-free popcorn but I did eat a bowl.

Thought I better check on my financial aid for my D.Min. program today. Was informed that everything is in order and that they will send me some money after the 30th of this month. Excuse Me. My week long stay on campus begins on the 9/24. How am I supposed to pay for the hotel, travel, etc??? Oh, that's right she says, you are starting school before that - "YES" (you dunce). They are going to check on advancing me some of my student loan money. I hate being so needy but I am a single-parent, student pastor and barely scraping by. We didn't even go on a week-end trip this summer because we couldn't afford it. There is no way I can rent a hotel for an entire week without some up-front money. I was happy that I could afford to buy all of the books in advance. Anyway pray for me. Hopefully, they will help me out. I'm wondering if I should email my plight to the director of the program. Any advice out there??

I was vindicated today. Told Hard-Headed Child that volleyball would interfere with cheerleading, she argued and argued but I prevailed. They are actually canceling the squad tomorrow at the game because all of the girls except my child can't be there - they have a volleyball game. Hmmph..... told you so.

Admin Council went very smoothly. It is back to normal after the whole "remodeling of Sanctuary" controversy. I was very leery, though. The SPRC Chair even said during her report, "The rest of you really don't realize all of the work that the pastor does behind the scenes". Felt good but I'm not sure that some of those present were convinced but it still felt good. Everything is now approved and in place for the Mother's Day Out Ministry. Hip, Hip, Hurray!! Good thing because my article about it came out in today's newspaper. And they put it in big headlines about the fold of the paper (not on page one but big headline).

I will have three hours tomorrow to finish up my sermon and to blog, surf the net, shampoo the carpet because they are delivering the new dresser. So blog something interesting for me to read. They called for directions and were supposed to call back with the 3-hour window, but didn't. Maybe they will come early so that I can get to the Nursing Home before the afternoon nap.