Heresy

Today's staff meeting was "FUN". A big brouhaha over Sunday's Children's message. The layperson that did children's message must not have read the scripture and I'm not sure he read the Bible either. He did an entire message over an Angel named Fred telling God what was on the agenda for the day for creating stuff. And after God would create a blade of grass, or a bug, or a tree, and even a person--they would reach into the Well of Souls and put a soul in the blade of grass, or bug, or tree, or person. It was kind of roulette wheel of souls. I couldn't decide if it was a weird mixture of Hinduism or pantheism/paganism. I can honestly say that I'm very glad not to be the Senior Pastor this week. What is a little sad is that the entire service revolved around the Beatitudes, which would have made a beautiful children's message.

On another note, Ryss was accepted into a Marine Biology Summer Course for Duke University in Florida. The bad news is that the financial aid wasn't enough (the scholarship was for 2/3rds), so we will probably have to decline. I really feel bad and a little like a failure. I know that money isn't who I am but it still hurts when you can't provide such a wonderful educational opportunity for your child.

Max Lucado

I am reading the new Max Lucado book "Out Live Your Life" and I'm considering doing a bible study over it, also. I know that he isn't a Methodist but I really like his books especially for teaching. It is about the power of a single person to make a difference in the world. Love the concept and the book is filled with good examples.

On another topic, we had the informational meeting last night for the "Strong Women" program. I'm trying to get my elderly ladies to start working on building muscle mass. The benefits to strength training for women (and men) is enormous and I think it will be a good program for the church. With that said, the women who came last night made me want to pull my hair out. The county agent trying to explain the program had to say the same thing over and over and over, simply because ladies would be talking in little groups and miss the explanation. Not very pastoral of me but I wanted to yell "Sit down and shut up"......my common sense kicked in and I just kept smiling on the outside and screaming on the inside. The meeting should have taken 30 minutes but ended up lasting 1 1/2 hours. I made it home without saying or doing anything. And people don't believe in miracles :)

Twilight Zone

I am in that weird place between staying and going. Trinity has eliminated my position as of next Annual Conference, so I will be leaving here but I don't know where I will be appointed next. I am getting used to the idea of leaving but it does make staff meetings interesting. We will be planning the calendar and I will be helping and it will hit me.....I won't be here then.

I have already started delegating and setting plans into motion so that my pastoral care responsibilities will not flounder after my departure. I know that is important but as I turn more of these jobs over to laity there is less and less for me to do. I don't want to set up new programs without knowing what the possible goals/ambitions of the next senior pastor might entail.

I should be relishing the fact that I have less to do but it is coming at a point when my doctoral studies are ending and I have finished all my paperwork for ordination. I go before the BOM for my interviews on February 9th. It makes me feel lazy not to have a crushing burden of duties clamoring for my attention.

Resting

I took a couple of days off to do absolutely nothing. Ryss has been delivered to Texas for Thanksgiving with the family and all I have done today is hard physical labor. Except for the extremely sore muscles that I foresee in the near future, it has been a good day. Worked out at the gym and bagged twenty-three bags of leaves from the front yard. I did run to the wireless place for some software so I can use my child's new laptop computer with my wireless modem. I promise to let her use her new computer......once in a while.

I talked to the director of the D.Min. Program yesterday and she said my dissertation is making the rounds of committee members. Hope they are all in a holiday frame of mind and go easy on me. I really don't want to have to spend months on the revisions. I really don't want to spend any time on the revisions actually. I'm tired of school work period.

I have finished all of my ordination/doctrinal questions. In fact, I have finished everything except for the interviews. Another thing to be praying about besides the uncertainty about where my next appointment will be, I pray that we will stay in this county until Ryss finishes High School. She is in a magnet school so as long as we stay within the county we will be okay.

Since I am on-call (even though I took vacation days), I couldn't go with Ryss but I am hopeful that some of my church members will bring me left-overs. Keep your fingers crossed :)

Done, Done and Finished

Well, the draft of my dissertation has been officially submitted. I wonder how long I will have to wait for the multitude of revisions to begin?

But that hasn't been on my mind as much as the Church Council Meeting which officially stated that due to budgetary concerns my position at Trinity will not be renewed after Annual Conference. The people are heart-sick and frankly I am too. I really wanted to stay put for a couple more years until Ryss finished High School. I am praying that I will be placed within the county. Luckily, she is in a Magnet Program and so as long as we remain in the county she is eligible to attend school there.

After she finishes high school, I will be foot-loose and fancy-free. Itinerancy will not be nearly as heart-wrenching but for now we are sad. So say a prayer for us.....

It won't hurt to say one that the revisions on my dissertation are manageable, too.

Formatting, Formatting, Formatting

Okay dissertation has some issues to be corrected before we even get started on substance and it is the nitpicky kinds of issues that drive me absolutely batty. And to make matters worse, they want me to mail them a three-ring binder with a hard copy for the initial draft. We live in the 21st Century......why waste a tree for something that will eventually be thrown away. All of the comments can be done electronically.

Oh well, time to make sure everything is exactly the same.

Plans of Mice and (Wo)Men

Well, zoning out and relaxing as yet to occur, ministry keeps getting in the way. Isn't there a quote about ministry happens in the interruptions? Well, I've been doing a lot of ministry. Lot's of deaths occurring in my church and it would be depressing, but I feel such a bond with the people as I'm allowed to be apart of their lives during this transition from this life to the life eternal. These bonds seem to be stronger than many of the other pastor/parishioner bonds that form over the course of a ministry. It has been good and I can say that because the people who died were suffering.

I have continued to work on the dissertation. I have assembled it all together in the correct format and with all the appendix/bibliographic information. It is right around 100 pages long. Seems kind of short considering the years that went into this project. Part of that is that I have never written the max required length of almost any paper because, why use 100 words when 10 will suffice. I hope this habit doesn't bite me on the rear.

And then the normal everyday crap of living in modern society. For instance, I have had automatic draft for my car payment for years. I don't have to think about it and the bank gets their money, sounds perfect. Until loan changes hands for servicing and the new company cannot draft money on a regular basis. Last month it drafted, this month it didn't and then they start calling my parents (my references) talking smack about debt collection. So I have removed it from automatic draft and I will write a check every month (but it will be with a bit of anger thrown in).

On the good side, I have finally crossed that month long plateau and have started losing weight again. Hurray!! I have preached and recorded my "ordination" sermon and finished the doctrinal questions. I had my "ordination" physical last week and my "ordination" mammogram yesterday. So 2nd base is safe for another year :) Really, now it is a matter of waiting for the interviews next Spring and lots of praying.

Sadly, it doesn't look like I will be able to stay at my church after my (hopeful) ordination. The money just isn't there for an associate pastor. I'm praying that I will stay in the same county for just two more years so my daughter will finish High School. I'm afraid that she will disown me if we have to move. It won't be a pretty sight.

P.S.

In the midst of all this writing, I have really been working at becoming more physically healthy too. Over the summer, I lost 40#s and lot's of inches. Working out is the first thing I do in the morning now so that it doesn't get lost in the "to-do" list.

The other thing is tracking all of my calories. Church dinners are laden with hidden calories but the church ppl have been good about understanding why I only get a tiny bite of their Aunt Lucy's favorite casserole.

I am walking as part of the United Methodist "Holy Healthy" program under Virgin Healthmiles. Out of hundreds of clergy that are currently taking part in a month long, eight conference challenge I am ranked 42nd. I am ranked 2nd in my conference. Not to bad for an old lady :)))

Excitement

I have just finished the first draft of my entire doctoral dissertation. This has been a project years in the making and here at the very end I didn't think I could force myself to type another word. I was just exhausted. It was like I had writers block ten times over.

I know that it will probably undergo a zillion rewrites but getting the first draft finished was a huge accomplishment. I plan on reading a novel today and just zoning out for the first time in "like forever".

Clergy Killers, Part 2

People who come up with grand ideas and then want others to do all the heavy lifting has become my new pet peeve.

I have become a big fan of the "Simple Church" concept. We complain about the parishioners not being present for this or for that. Maybe they aren't the problem and we are. If people knew that everything that was happening at the church happened on Wednesday or on Sunday, it might be easier for them to schedule their own lives and still include church. Just saying!

What do those two thoughts have in common? More than you might want to know but discretion is the better part of valor and I'm not going into a rant (at least not tonight).