Monday, February 4, 2008

Discouraged

I am devastated, discouraged and ready to give up. I have been delayed another year. The outlook for ministry in this conference is bleak. To be commissioned you have to be perfect and, guess what? I'm not perfect. I have been divorced. I have made mistakes. I was not raised a Methodist, or for that matter, a Christian.

I have not felt this disvalued as a human being in a long, long time. Not sure what I'm supposed to do. My DS said, he would let me know if he could find a place for me to be appointed by Friday, maybe, but he did not seem very optimistic.

I sent an email to another conference to start checking into the possibility of openings in that area. My faith is in God. I know that I am called to serve but maybe not here, maybe not in this denomination. I don't know.............

My self-confidence has really taken a beating this past year.

7 comments:

more cows than people said...

Shit. I am so sorry to hear this. Does this mean you'll be leaving the church you're currently serving?

(((RevDulce)))

Rev. Dulce said...

I don't know but probably.

The Thief said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. The ministry bureaucracy can be so disheartening. I had to wait an extra year for the UMC to recognize my Ordination (though I was already Ordained in another denomination), and that was really discouraging.

I'm so sorry to hear that they postponed your Commissioning.

DogBlogger said...

So sorry to hear of this disappointment.

(((RevDulce)))

Crimson Rambler said...

Well poop upon them. My hope and prayer is that the Lord has a better thing in mind for you, which just isn't visible, or ready, just yet. Walking with you through the swamp of disappointment in the meantime, though.

mid-life rookie said...

I'm at a loss for words. My heart breaks for you. I'll call as soon as I can.

mid-life rookie said...

Are you still out there? I've called a couple of times and got voice mail. I'll try again in a little while.