I am devastated, discouraged and ready to give up. I have been delayed another year. The outlook for ministry in this conference is bleak. To be commissioned you have to be perfect and, guess what? I'm not perfect. I have been divorced. I have made mistakes. I was not raised a Methodist, or for that matter, a Christian.
I have not felt this disvalued as a human being in a long, long time. Not sure what I'm supposed to do. My DS said, he would let me know if he could find a place for me to be appointed by Friday, maybe, but he did not seem very optimistic.
I sent an email to another conference to start checking into the possibility of openings in that area. My faith is in God. I know that I am called to serve but maybe not here, maybe not in this denomination. I don't know.............
My self-confidence has really taken a beating this past year.