This was an email from one of my friends. Apparently, she doesn't have enough to do.
Gen. 6:13 So God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. 14 So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. 15 This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. 16 Make a roof for it and finish the ark to within 18 inches of the top. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks. 17 I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish."
CBOD 1:1: Then God said to the Board of Ordained Ministry of the Texas Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church: "I am going to destroy all the candidates for commissioning. I am surely going to destroy them. So demand of them to make a packet of information of many pieces of 8x11 papers. It shall include a personal data inventory, a medical report, a psychological report, letters from not one but two seminary staff, a disclosure of the candidate's criminal and credit backgrounds, a copy of their driver's licenses, many written statements, a Bible study and sermon that is recorded on cd - not on cassette shall thy recording be made. Then have the candidates place 5 copies of this information in envelopes that are 9x12. I am going to bring a flood of paperwork to destroy their lives. Every candidate will perish. However, shall they not perish, thou must ordain them."