Today's worship service was absolutely great. My sermon just seemed to flow. We had visitor's. We had a wonderful fellowship meal. We had a great Mother's Day Out planning meeting. Everything was looking rosy. Everyone had left except for me and the Quilter's (Otherwise known as the bane of my existence).
The head bane said, as I left, "Are the dishes done?" Yes, Head Bane. "Is the floor swept?" No ma'am. So I go back and sweep the floor (only because there was no one else and it wasn't that big of a deal). Then I start to leave and I hear her talking to all the little banes. "I called the pastor and told her they had messed up the pension withdrawal again and SHE wasn't even upset!!"
I can't win for losing. If I had acted very upset then the comment would have been - "She can't control her emotions." What really peeves me off is that I was upset and called the District Office and the Conference Office. However, I couldn't act as the 3rd wheel because I didn't have the books in front of me. So I asked the conference to call her and get this straightened out. Then I called her and gave her the number and name of the conference contact person for pensions. Of course, they did not manage to talk to each other.
I was pissed on several levels. One for her talking about my pension and insurance issues with people who really aren't involved in it. Two for being such a bitch about my reaction to the situation. Three at myself for taking it so personally. And for her treating me like I am a child.
Face it that is all that I will think about for the next 24 hours. It will keep making me mad and that is stupid. If you weigh the day on scales, the good outweighs the bad. This group just can't get over making them step out of their comfort zone and actually do ministry. I really, really wanted to confront her but it will just inflame the situation and other than her leaving the church, I just don't think it will get better. But she is the treasurer, admin chair and the pianist. Those of you in small churches or having served in small churches will understand my dilemma.
I know that we are supposed to love our sheep but she is making it very, very, very hard.
3 comments:
Hmmm. I would go straight to my district superintendent with this. This woman is no sheep; she's a wolf. She's a pastor killer, and that's her self-appointed job. Get the DS on your side of this one ASAP!
I will bring it up the next time I see him. What worries me the most is that this is the experience that will haunt me for days.
I don't usually look for affirmation for my calling as a pastor but this little group makes it hard to remember why I'm here, sometimes.
Thanks for your support. Sometimes I worry that I'm over-reacting but I've worked so very, very hard on learning self-control - first, in the military and now as a pastor. That I do try not to react, when all I really wanted to do was confront her but I knew that with no one there except for me and the evil trio it would have gotten twisted all around.
Absolutely true. Document, document, document, and never go into a confrontation with any member of the "evil trio" without backup.
What's sad to me is how often church fights center over furniture or the color of the carpet, and ministry to those who need the Lord is somewhere way down the line (or isn't even discussed).
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